Business As Usual

This is a short story I wrote a long time ago. Found it in my backups.

BUSINESS AS USUAL
By Saurav Mohapatra


Category: System Log Entry
By: Brahma@trinity.gov
To: all@trinity.gov

Subject: SYSTEM INITIATION SUCCESSFUL

The system initiation procedure was successful. The energy infusion went smoothly and the containment frequencies functioned within limits. The resonant sonic harmonics stimulated the spontaneous condensation of the vibrant energy field correctly. The singularity responded as predicted and the proto-universe coalesced.

Maintaining observation mode.

–Brahma
Creator-in-chief, Trinity Labs

———————

Category : Personal Communiqué
By: Brahma@trinity.gov
To: Shiva@trinity.gov
Attachments: om.mp3

Downloaded a sample of the resonant sonic harmonic and looped it. Attached please find the results. Just thought you might like it since you are into dance and music.

B.

———————–

Category: System Log Entry
By: Brahma@trinity.gov
To: all@trinity.gov

Subject: CONGRATULATIONS! IT’S ALIVE !!

Scans of sector ZZ-Alpha, Planet Prithvi indicate that the primordial soup responded well to the electrical stimulus provided by its atmosphere, protein initiation was successful.

Sampling has detected basic building blocks necessary for development of carbon based sentient life forms.

Under current conditions, test system should be ready to self-sustain itself soon.

———————

Category: Personal Communiqué
By: Vishnu@trinity.gov
To: Shiva@trinity.gov

Subject: I WIN, AGAIN !

Hey.

Looks like I win again. I told you life was going to be Carbon based. Only thing Nitrogen is good for is making laughing gas, as you so very well know ! ;-)

You now owe me 100 bucks for this and the “betamax is going to rule the world!!!” bet.

Regards,
V.

PS: BTW, did you order the keg for the next party? If you plan on freaking out like the last one I strongly suggest you order two, one just for you and one for the rest of us.

———————

System Log Entry
By: Brahma@trinity.gov
To: all@trinity.gov
Attn: Vishnu@trinity.gov

Subject: Entering Maintenance mode.

System entered self-sustenance mode. All indications are promising, handing system over to maintenance daemons.

Vishnu, can you make sure that the initial transition is smoother than the last one! I am particularly worried about the leakage of the flammable coolant tubes on the last one! Boy was that a big bang or what??

—————————

System Log Entry
By: Vishnu@trinity.gov
To: all@trinity.gov

Subject: Meeting Request : Cataclysm Alert

Project has evolved into a stable multiphase system with a uniform division among aquatic systems and landmasses. However I am concerned over some instabilities under the ocean bed which might lead to flooding of the landmasses and eventual loss of many forms of land based life.

This event (whose probability has just been confirmed by simulations) shall create an undue shift in evolutionary pressure towards aquatic life forms.

Request a meeting of all of us to vote on whether intervention is required.

V.

—————————–

System Log Entry
By: Vishnu@trinity.gov
To: all@trinity.gov

Subject: Cataclysm Averted. Avatar Algorithm works

As per our collective decision last Friday, I rewrote the maintenance daemon algorithm to allow external insertions. However due to the narrow bandwidth available, I have managed to key it only to my sub ethereal frequencies. The Avatar Algorithm allows my consciousness to manifest itself inside the system while allowing for a portion of my external consciousness to be downloaded to that particular manifestation. I have named the algorithm as the “avatar system”. I have tried to design the system so that the inhabitants are mostly unaware of us except at a primitive level. However the long term effects of my insertion can only be seen with the passage of time. Also the process is very resource intensive and I propose we use it sparingly only to avert cataclysm class events.

As per the poll, I managed to interface with the system and manifest myself as a higher aquatic life form. I managed to convey the urgency of the situation to one of the leaders of the dominant land based organisms which have been classified as “maanavs” since the first of their kind was fondly referred to as “M.A.N.U.” by Brahma@trinity.org.

The maanavs managed to avert significant loss to the land based ecosystem by evacuating to a higher area along with as much samples of existing life as possible. The loss was acceptable and I believe the system can continue on its own from here on.

V.

————————————————-

Corporate M.O.U.

Signed by: Trinity Labs and Yahweh Inc.

We the undersigned to do hereby agree to share space in the project Brahmand construct. Yahweh inc shall be provided with space and initial sentience seeding in the Mesopotamian Sector of Planet Prithvi.

sd:

for Trinity Labs.

Indra,
Managing Director

for Yahweh! Inc

Yahweh,
CEO, President, Chairman of the Board and Sole Proprietor

———————–

Confidential Complaint
By: Vishnu@trinity.gov
To: hr@trinity.gov
CC: admin@trinity.gov

Subject: Attitude issues exhibited my co-workers

Attachments : Yahweh-Moses-Burning-Bush.avi
DNA-Sampling-Report-Jesus-Of-Nazareth.doc
Combined Expense Reports For Eight Avataric Manifestations.xls

Dear Madam,

As you are aware project Brahmand has started exhibiting signs of increasing instability and has been demanding more and more resources. I believe this is in part due to the cavalier attitude exhibited by my coworkers. Since the system has entered maintenance mode, their active roles are limited.

However as referenced by my earlier memos and log entries, the Avatar algorithm designed by me has been called in to play at least nine times in the recent past. As the self awareness of the inhabitants of the construct grows, they are slowly becoming aware of us (the trinity) albeit in a limited sense. My avataric manifestations have become sort of the lynchpin of their religion.

Also the Yahweh Inc deal which turned out to be such a cash cow for our company is in my opinion sort of undermining the harmony of the system. Three major religions have sprung up and are growing fast with Yahweh as the central deity and he is relishing it. He has been using the experimental Audio Visual interface to manipulate the simple minded folk in his sector. More alarmingly I think Yahweh has developed the technology to inject his DNA into unsuspecting female inhabitants, please see the attached DNA Sampling report on a certain Jesus of Nazareth who I am pretty certain is Yahweh’s child.

I am not sure of Yahweh’s ultimate agenda, but I think it might end up introducing irreversible incompatibilities among the system inhabitants.

My Trinity Labs coworkers are not above a bit of tinkering either. They have been constantly using the A/V interface to grant so called “boons” to people who chant their name. Even though they have not yet violated the prime directive as in granting immortality to inhabitants, I have had to use the Avatar Algorithm seven more times in the recent past to control the damage done by their youthful pranks. That makes it eight avataric manifestations in three systemic epochs.

I have left psychosocial controls in place to avoid any further requirement of avataric manifestations. Even Yahweh has agreed to insert similar controls.

We have spun a doomsday story that indicates any further interference by the “Gods” or “god” (in Yahweh’s case) shall be the last and it shall bring about the End of Days.

Regards

Vishnu
Chief Operating Officer, Trinity Labs

———————-

Category : Termination Notice
From: finance@trinity.gov
To: vishnu@trinity.gov, Brahma@trinity.gov, Shiva@trinity.gov
CC: yahweh@yahweh.com

Subject: PROJECT BRAHMAND BUDGET WITHDRAWN

Dear Sir(s),

The corporate financial audit found that the return on investment on the above mentioned project was very low and except for the franchise deal with Yahweh Inc, there has been no financial gain from the project.

It is thus been decided by the board to terminate the project immediately. You are hereby authorized to launch Termination Sequence : TAN – DAV to release the resources tied up in the construct.
This notice also serves as communication of intent to terminate as per clause 42(v) of our M.O.U. with Yahweh Inc. They are requested to launch their preparatory programs of System Termination.

Regards

Kuber, CPA
Finance Department
Trinity Labs

—————–

Personal Log Entry
By: Shiva@trinity.gov
To:
Subject: Everything Ends, Everything Begins…

I was asked to launch the TAN-DAV Algorithm on the system today. Even though I take great pride in the algorithms workings and must say enjoy the sheer beauty of it, it is with a heavy heart that I write this.

TAN-DAV is designed to take apart bit by bit the resonant harmonic matter constraints that keep the mini-universe in place. As the algorithm traverses across the system, it shall release the energy equivalence of the universe construct and store it in a zero point module for future use.

I feel sad as we all put a lot of effort into this project, especially Vishnu. It is going to be real hard on him. Have not seen him since last evening when we got the memo about system termination. Brahma is glassy eyed too since that time.

Well that leaves me. I am a professional this is what I do. My only consolation is some day we might get approval for another project and we shall reuse this energy to build another universe.

Till then, life goes on.

———–

System Log Entry
From: Tandav-Daemon@trinity.gov
CC: all@trinity.gov

Subject: Termination Sequence finished

System Termination finished. Energy has been store in zero point module 9512102.

——————-

Personal Communiqué
From: Yahweh@yahweh.com
To: Vishnu@trinity.gov, Brahma@trinity.gov, Shiva@trinity.gov
Subject: FYI: Good News.

Hi All,

I have managed to gather funding from a couple of venture capitalists I know. They are eager to invest in Project Brahmand. The VC firm of Al-Zahila is backed by the Saudi Royal family, so we know their money is good. We can reinitiate the project as soon as I get the details sorted out. Just thought you guys should know first.

Regards

Yahweh

P.S. : I thought of a great system initiation banner. It goes, “Let there be light”

THE END

The AVATAR Experience

“Dude, I ain’t watching DANCES WITH THE SMURFS 3D!”

AVATARThat was the reaction of a co-worker when I told him that James Cameron‘s AVATAR blew me away. He’s got a point there, while completely missing the point of the movie. AVATAR has a by the numbers / cookie cutter story similar to the New World or Dances with the wolves. But I think that is by design. The real star of the movie is the graphics — mindblowing graphics. Yet it could have become a soulless/senseless paen to imagery a la CITY OF LOST CHILDREN or MIRRORMASK, but AVATAR as a story has heart — lots of it. The cliches and tropes are salvaged by the smooth and seamless integration of the gorgeously imagined and rendered Alien landscapes (which are IMPORTANT and RELEVANT to the story/plot). It is realistic without crashing down into Uncanny Valley and balances the realism of simulation with appropriate does of suspension of disbelief and in some cases even sensory stimuli.

FUTURE IS WILDAVATAR reminded me of two most excellent Discovery channel documentaries titled FUTURE IS WILD and ALIEN PLANET I had seen earlier.

FUTURE IS WILD is an extrapolation of evolution on planet earth millions of years into the future and ALIEN PLANET is the imagined story of ALIEN PLANETthe first unmanned mission traversing space in search of extraterrestrial life (and finding it). Both were made with budgets that probably would not even render half a dozen giant mushrooms in the world of PANDORA. :) But they share a bond with Cameron’s AVATAR in being utterly imaginative about what alien flora and fauna (and even terrestrial ones in the future) may look like. While AVATAR has the luxury of dramatic hyperbole and poetic license, it uses them to build a vibrant vista rather than squander it on meaningless visual non sequitors.

To those few who are still debating whether or not to see AVATAR, my advice would be to go see it immediately (preferably in IMAX/3D). This might be something that’ll help you score some coolness cred with your grandchild when (s)he’s twiddling away on a full 3D holographic handheld with full haptic / synaptic interface powered by the latest Quantum computing chip.

“Y’know back in my day, we did it all with Mo-Cap and 280 mil dollars!” :)

Yup, it’s that kind of a landmark in motion picture history.

AVATAR HD Extended Trailer



FUTURE IS WILD



ALIEN PLANET



Trolling on GreatBong’s site – an interesting social experiment

Damn! This $shit is addictive. I’m trolling on GreatBong’s site posting as Jimmy Zhingchak. Basically I’m just copying pasting from Rediff.net postings on the review of Three Idiots that GB has put up pretending to be someone who speaks exclusively in SMS-es (“Lyf lyk gud” and all that).

Man, people do take the anonymity of the web way too seriously. The comments started as snide and gradually decayed into plain old assault and battery. I’ll just keep at it till I get bored. :)

Maybe there’s a column in this somewhere :)

[UPDATE: Obviously, I'm doing this with GB's knowledge and with a fail-safe button he can press for me to stop anytime he wants.]

[UPDATE2: (11:44 EST) - now the abuses have turned personal and really bite-y. ]

[UPDATE-3 (11:49 EST) -- now trying a direct confrontation route ]

[UPDATE – 4 (11:53 EST) — okay, now I’m officially bored. The funny thing was this post showed up as a trackback/ping on the thread I was trolling and every post I had made was linked back to this website. Still, I guess cyber cojones give steroid rampage level meanness to people (especially with all the anonymity). Halting social experiment. Will proceed if there are any other responses.

My favorite part was posting a completely out of context Sachin Tendulkar career stat :D

So the interactive part of this experiment ends here. Thanks GB for being such a sport and allowing me to post/troll on that thread :)

Now I’m pretty sure, there’ll be responses to my earlier trolling posts even after I explained that I was trolling in this post.

Jimmy Zhingchak on Wikipedia

Jimmy ZhingchakHa! saw this during a wikipedia browsing session. Kinda made my day! :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Zhingchak_(comics).

JZ was a real blast to write. I have fond memories of writing it. The character of Bhappi-da, the last of the DISCO gods is hands down my favorite ever, closely followed by Fukku Bhai from Mumbai Macguffin. Last I heard (from semi-realiable sources) UTV was making a movie out of it. Wonders of work-for-hire! I’m not involved in that. :( But will go watch the movie when (and if) it gets made.

Aieeee Saaalaaa!

Oh! and I used to maintain a kind of scrapbook of Zhingchak sightings on the wild wild web. You can find it here.

About Jimmy Zhingchak

JIMMY ZHINGCHAK – AGENT OF D.I.S.C.O., written by Saurav Mohapatra and drawn by Anupam Sinha, is a spoof and a homage of ’80s bollywood disco zeitgeist, detailing the adventures of a disco dancing superspy who fights Sir John and his evil F.I.R.A.N.G. for the Dept. of Internal Security and Covert Operations (D.I.S.C.O.) [more..]

Mumbai Confidential site now has a new look

I decided to unleash my nerd-ery to try and code a new wordpress template for Mumbai Confidential website. So read up a few resources on the web and one night’s coding binge got the new theme (aptly called “Mumbai Confidential Custom 1“) up and running.

Details are here.

About Mumbai Confidential

Mumbai Confidential is a crime noir comic book series created by writer Saurav Mohapatra (DEVI, SADHU, MUMBAI MACGUFFIN, INDIA AUTHENTIC, JIMMY ZHINGCHAK) and artist Vivek Shinde (PROJECT: KALKI, SNAKEWOMAN) set in (of course!) the Indian city of Mumbai.

comic books I read – a (non-comprehensive) list

I usually read comics spanning quite an eclectic range and one rule that I have is picking each book based on what I feel about that particular story. Though that being said, I’m much more likely to pick up a issue #1 by Ed Brubaker, Warren Ellis or Greg Rucka blindly :) .

So when someone asks me what books you like to read, it’s pretty tough to just say one or even five/six names. Currently my pull/read list consists of THE BOYS by Garth Ennis, AIR by G. Willow Wilson and UNWRITTEN by Mike Carey. Some of the other comics that I’ve read and really enjoyed (listed in no particular order) :

  • LAZARUS CHURCHYARD, TRANSMETROPOLITAN, PLANETARY, AUTHORITY and FELL by Warren Ellis and his run on Ultimate FF and IRON MAN : Extremis
  • PLANET HULK by Greg Pak
  • WOLVERINE LEGENDS v2: MELTDOWN by Walter Simonson
  • SWAMP THING, TOM STRONG. SUPREME and TOP TEN by Alan Moore
  • WOLVERINE: SNIKT! by Tsutomo Nihei
  • WALKING DEAD by Robert Kirkman
  • HITMAN, PREACHER by Garth Ennis and his PUNISHER run (especially WELCOME BACK FRANK)
  • THE PATH by Ron Marz
  • WAY OF THE RAT by Chuck Dixon
  • LUCIFER by Mike Carey
  • Frank Miller’s run on DAREDEVIL and DARK KNIGHT RETURNS and DARK KNIGHT STRIKES AGAIN
  • Ed Brubaker’s run on DAREDEVIL and his work in CRIMINAL
  • Grant Morrison’s run on ANIMAL MAN
  • WHITEOUT and QUEEN & COUNTRY by Greg Rucka
  • MARVELS, SECRET IDENTITY and ASTRO CITY by Kurt Busiek
  • EMPIRE and KINGDOM COME by Mark Waid
  • POWERS by Brian M. Bendis
  • MIDNIGHT NATION by J. Michael Straczinsky
  • MARKED by Steve Ross

Lascivious Intentions

(A repost from my old sulekha.com blog. This was written on the back of a napkin at Amsterdam airport while waiting for a connecting flight. contains strong language and graphic sexuality, might not be suitable for minors)

LASCIVIOUS INTENTIONS
by Saurav Mohapatra

They were having sex in a public place and no one looked.

The measly looking old man was banging the naked busty blonde right there on the floor of a busy airport lounge and no one even bothered to bat an eyelid.

Apathy, the greatest virtue of modern man! We seem to be born with it. We would revel in it if we could trigger the faintest bit of emotion.

Being apathetic is not a zero sum game. There is plenty to go around for everybody.

#

The old man was now lying flat on his back and the blonde was riding him hard.

Still no one cared.

Oh! My Lord! What the f#$% has happened to your world?

I sipped my coffee trying to drown out their moans and groans. It was getting on my nerves.

I still had five hours to go before my connecting flight left and I had to put up with this.

#

They seemed to have insatiable appetites. Now the blonde was kneeling over and the old man was pumping away furiously shouting in broken English, “Who Yore daddy!”. She was shouting indecipherable obscenities in a language that sounded German. Having watched umpteen pornographic movies, I could fill in the dialogues in English.

The racket was unbearable.

“Stop it.” I wanted to shout.

“Stop it now! I cannot take this anymore.”

I wanted to go over and kick them hard. They were behaving like mongrels in heat and deserved to be treated as such.

I finally got the nerve and stood up.

#

The old man was sitting there on the bench right across me, fully clothed of course and so was the blonde.

Did I imagine it?

Damn! This waiting is playing havoc with my mind.

I pretended to stretch my legs and sat down.

The old man was reading a newspaper. He gave me a courtesy smile as our eyes met and I realized I had been staring.

I smiled guiltily and looked over at the blonde.

#

Ahhh! There she was! Butt naked on the floor, pleasuring herself and of course no one looked.

I got in touch with my inner apathetic modern man. I turned my attention to my coffee and looked at my watch.

Four more hours plus change!

#

Still no one looked.

THE END

Artdump

Lately I have been experimenting with a minimal black and white style for hardboiled crime novels. As befits my limited artistic talent, I have been working off of photo references. Here are some of the pieces I have done in recent times.

Here’s lookin’ at ya, kid!

So last night while waiting for someone I had a meeting with to show up, I decided to doodle and chose to try my hand at drawing a very hard boiled Humphrey Bogart :) Here’s the piece with one of my favorite bogie lines from Cassablance. Done with the mouse and GIMP

By the time it was finished, my fingers were hurting like hell. So I kinda skimped on the ciggie smoke. Bogie was the inspiration for a hard-boiled Vampire story that I wrote for “The Harrow” sometime back called A DEATH BY ANY OTHER DAME.

Humphrey Bogart